Does it matter if we build the website, bake the cake, design the flyer, or write the article?
So I am here all day. In the exact place I don’t want to be. On the list of what I don’t want to do with my life, this checks every point.
How does everything I am trying to build, and create fit in with what I do here all day. It doesn’t. I think of articles I want to write, blog posts to create, but then look around and think why? Does it matter what I do?
I know what I have in me, but have no way to express that or be that person during the day. I can feel what it is like, right now, to sit at my desk at home, looking out at the field, the trees, and the sky. There is freedom there. Freedom to be me, freedom to write, freedom to create. Does it matter what I do there?
I am afraid. Afraid that I won’t keep trying to be a writer, to cook, craft, play the flute, dance, and express the creativity in me.
I think of dad. His life is over now.
He wrote a book, but it was never a best seller.
He designed a golf course that is closed now.
He renovated a store that has long since changed.
He died with a used car, a mound of debt, and a lot of unrealized dreams.
Does what he did matter?
Does what I do matter?
Our value isn’t in a paycheck.
It’s not in our job title.
It’s not in the type of car we drive, or the house we live in.
What you do is important because you are important.
Is the worth of my creativity based on the amount of money I earn from it?
The world says an emphatic yes! If it’s not earning you a big paycheck, it’s not worth anything.
My most valuable possessions are a cheap ring my great grandmother gave me, her worn out Keds, dad’s ball caps, my grandmother’s paintings, grandpa’s poems, papaw’s name placate, and every drawing that my children ever gave me.
Those things are important to me because those people are important to me, and everything they did was important.
Create, and be who you were made to be. Your art is beautiful to me, because you are beautiful to me. Nothing in this world can place a value on what you do.